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CHAP. LXX.
Of the Vulgar sort of Courtiers.
THere are the Common sort of Court-Attendants, a very wicked Generation, who live in a perpe∣tual Slavery, visiting Noblemens Houses, and parasiti∣cally hanging on upon other mens Tables.
And as their chiefest Good they daily seek
The Trenchers of another man to lick.
Therefore they are submissive to every body, flatter every one, studying to become all things to all, coun∣terfeiting more shapes than Proteus, whereby to gain the savour of a Lord: To which purpose they main∣ly study to remember Discourses at Table, that they may not want matter for Report; with great craft they inquire into the secrecies of such as are at odds, which they discover sometimes to their Friends, sometimes to their Enemies, so to render themselves acceptable to both, to both Treacherous; so much the fitter for Treason, as pretending a great deal of simplicity and harmlesness. For though there be no Crime so wick∣ed as Treachery, yet for the obtaining of Riches and Preferment, there is no way more ready nor more com∣pendious, nothing more pleasing or grateful to Prin∣ces.
They strive the Secrets of a House to know,
To keep the Master under—
And if at any time any person make 'um privie to
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any Treason, then they are brave Fellows, and hold up their heads above measure.
Dear shall he be to Verres in whose power
The Life of Verres lies.
Thereby familiarity and kindred is Contracted, in confidence whereof they aspire to great things. First therefore some greatly labour to be listed in the num∣ber of Noblemens Servants, though they serve 'um with∣out Salary: For they doubt not to get the favour of the Great Ones, having now fair opportunities of Flat∣terie, and to insinuate themselves with all manner of obsequiousness and small gifts: what duties others out of Laziness, Fear, or Covetousness omit, they greedi∣ly undertake; they watch day and night, run, ride, post to and fro with Messages, undertake and suffer any toyl.
Daring to Act, nor fearing to endure
The Punishments provided for the Poor.
Till by this means they become Secretaries, Treasurers, or other very great Ministers of State. And now having pass'd the Straits and Difficulties of Labour, double diligence and fawning obsequiousness are quite laid aside, nor regarded by them in others, there be∣ing now nothing in esteem but Money. Their new Honours have chang'd their Manners; they forget what they were, contemn their Beginnings, they covet what is to come, and wholly devoted to Avarice, bend all their endeavours and studies in the pursuit of gain and riches; sparing in the performance of Promises, yet full of Words; Flattering, yet at the same time Treacherous; dark in their Sentences, and like Ora∣cles hard to be understood: whatever they see, what∣ever
Page 232
they hear, they consture to the worst sense: they trust only themselves, love only themselves, are wise only to themselves; they trust in no mans faith or friendship, they care for no Society, but for the love of Gain; their own Profit they prefer above all things; their Friends, their Guests, their Com∣panions, their Kindred, they Despise 'um all, and look upon 'um as barren Trees, if there be nothing to be got by 'um; and their former Companions and great Chronics, if they meet 'um in their Dish, they will take no more notice of 'um than if they had never seen 'um. If any one requires their Friendship or Assistance, they feed 'um with Words and Promises, promising Ten times more than they will perform; and perchance if there be no feeling in the Case, they will not only not help him, but ruine his Cause: all Kindness and Courtesie is vendible; they despise all Vertue, clouding the Praises of others with Ambiguous Sayings, and Feigned Detractions behind their backs; they themselves speak in the Praise of no man with∣out a Reserve, as the Orator said of Julius, That he was fortunate indeed, that he was a stout man, and had done many valiant Acts; but how he could evade being accounted guilty of Bribes, I should admire, but that I know the force of Elocution. And as another says,
Happy in Children Proteus, and a Wife,
And bating Phocas crimes, that stain'd his Life,
A man not to be matcht.—
After Gifts they are as greedy as Vultures, every∣where hunting after their Prey, which they snatch out of one anothers Chaps, as the Harpyes were said to tear the Meat out of the mouth of Phinaeus. If any misfortune befal a Rival, they rejoyce; they compassio∣nate no mans Calamity; they believe that they ought
Page 233
to keep promise and faith with no body, but for their own pleasure and advantage; never to acknowledge any kindness, judging all men equally unworthy of any favour, or not fit to be taken notice of, or else to be recompenc'd with hatred and envy: rather when they hate, they counterfeit kindness, and dissemble their Anger; unless the Prince or King, they give reverence or respect to no body, nor them neither but out of Fear, or for the hopes of Reward. At length growing grey in Fraud, Treachery, Labour and Toyl, and having by such base and sordid acts attain'd to high Honours and vast Riches, then they omit no breach of Law Divine or Humane, so that they may be able to leave their Sons Heirs of their Wealth, their Honour and Iniquities.
—With Serpents thus and Lizards sought
In Fields remote, the Storks their young ones feed,
Who streight the self-same Prey their Mothers did,
Now taking Wing, by hunger prickt pursue.
The Birds of Jove thus to their off-spring true,
In shady Woods hunt out the Goat and Hare,
And constant supper for their Young prepare:
But for themselves now able to provide,
Their raging Hunger is not satisfi'd
Vntil they find the Prey they tasted first,
So soon as Life their tender shells had burst.
And these are the Arts and Devices of the Common sort of Courtiers, by means whereof many of mean and low condition rise to the highest Preferments, Dig∣nities, and places of Profit, and the next places of Authority to Kings and Princes themselves; in Riches equal to their Princes, with which they build stately and Magnificent Structures and Palaces, while the more Noble Courtiers indeed, wast their Estates in
Page 234
Whoring, Gaming, Hunting, Horse-races, Entertain∣ments, Masques, and Gorgeous Apparel; selling their Lordships, Castles, Possessions, Inheritances, to those Upstart Courtiers, who by their wicked Practises and Contrivances are now mounted into the rank of No∣bility.
Of the Vulgar sort of Courtiers.
THere are the Common sort of Court-Attendants, a very wicked Generation, who live in a perpe∣tual Slavery, visiting Noblemens Houses, and parasiti∣cally hanging on upon other mens Tables.
And as their chiefest Good they daily seek
The Trenchers of another man to lick.
Therefore they are submissive to every body, flatter every one, studying to become all things to all, coun∣terfeiting more shapes than Proteus, whereby to gain the savour of a Lord: To which purpose they main∣ly study to remember Discourses at Table, that they may not want matter for Report; with great craft they inquire into the secrecies of such as are at odds, which they discover sometimes to their Friends, sometimes to their Enemies, so to render themselves acceptable to both, to both Treacherous; so much the fitter for Treason, as pretending a great deal of simplicity and harmlesness. For though there be no Crime so wick∣ed as Treachery, yet for the obtaining of Riches and Preferment, there is no way more ready nor more com∣pendious, nothing more pleasing or grateful to Prin∣ces.
They strive the Secrets of a House to know,
To keep the Master under—
And if at any time any person make 'um privie to
Page 231
any Treason, then they are brave Fellows, and hold up their heads above measure.
Dear shall he be to Verres in whose power
The Life of Verres lies.
Thereby familiarity and kindred is Contracted, in confidence whereof they aspire to great things. First therefore some greatly labour to be listed in the num∣ber of Noblemens Servants, though they serve 'um with∣out Salary: For they doubt not to get the favour of the Great Ones, having now fair opportunities of Flat∣terie, and to insinuate themselves with all manner of obsequiousness and small gifts: what duties others out of Laziness, Fear, or Covetousness omit, they greedi∣ly undertake; they watch day and night, run, ride, post to and fro with Messages, undertake and suffer any toyl.
Daring to Act, nor fearing to endure
The Punishments provided for the Poor.
Till by this means they become Secretaries, Treasurers, or other very great Ministers of State. And now having pass'd the Straits and Difficulties of Labour, double diligence and fawning obsequiousness are quite laid aside, nor regarded by them in others, there be∣ing now nothing in esteem but Money. Their new Honours have chang'd their Manners; they forget what they were, contemn their Beginnings, they covet what is to come, and wholly devoted to Avarice, bend all their endeavours and studies in the pursuit of gain and riches; sparing in the performance of Promises, yet full of Words; Flattering, yet at the same time Treacherous; dark in their Sentences, and like Ora∣cles hard to be understood: whatever they see, what∣ever
Page 232
they hear, they consture to the worst sense: they trust only themselves, love only themselves, are wise only to themselves; they trust in no mans faith or friendship, they care for no Society, but for the love of Gain; their own Profit they prefer above all things; their Friends, their Guests, their Com∣panions, their Kindred, they Despise 'um all, and look upon 'um as barren Trees, if there be nothing to be got by 'um; and their former Companions and great Chronics, if they meet 'um in their Dish, they will take no more notice of 'um than if they had never seen 'um. If any one requires their Friendship or Assistance, they feed 'um with Words and Promises, promising Ten times more than they will perform; and perchance if there be no feeling in the Case, they will not only not help him, but ruine his Cause: all Kindness and Courtesie is vendible; they despise all Vertue, clouding the Praises of others with Ambiguous Sayings, and Feigned Detractions behind their backs; they themselves speak in the Praise of no man with∣out a Reserve, as the Orator said of Julius, That he was fortunate indeed, that he was a stout man, and had done many valiant Acts; but how he could evade being accounted guilty of Bribes, I should admire, but that I know the force of Elocution. And as another says,
Happy in Children Proteus, and a Wife,
And bating Phocas crimes, that stain'd his Life,
A man not to be matcht.—
After Gifts they are as greedy as Vultures, every∣where hunting after their Prey, which they snatch out of one anothers Chaps, as the Harpyes were said to tear the Meat out of the mouth of Phinaeus. If any misfortune befal a Rival, they rejoyce; they compassio∣nate no mans Calamity; they believe that they ought
Page 233
to keep promise and faith with no body, but for their own pleasure and advantage; never to acknowledge any kindness, judging all men equally unworthy of any favour, or not fit to be taken notice of, or else to be recompenc'd with hatred and envy: rather when they hate, they counterfeit kindness, and dissemble their Anger; unless the Prince or King, they give reverence or respect to no body, nor them neither but out of Fear, or for the hopes of Reward. At length growing grey in Fraud, Treachery, Labour and Toyl, and having by such base and sordid acts attain'd to high Honours and vast Riches, then they omit no breach of Law Divine or Humane, so that they may be able to leave their Sons Heirs of their Wealth, their Honour and Iniquities.
—With Serpents thus and Lizards sought
In Fields remote, the Storks their young ones feed,
Who streight the self-same Prey their Mothers did,
Now taking Wing, by hunger prickt pursue.
The Birds of Jove thus to their off-spring true,
In shady Woods hunt out the Goat and Hare,
And constant supper for their Young prepare:
But for themselves now able to provide,
Their raging Hunger is not satisfi'd
Vntil they find the Prey they tasted first,
So soon as Life their tender shells had burst.
And these are the Arts and Devices of the Common sort of Courtiers, by means whereof many of mean and low condition rise to the highest Preferments, Dig∣nities, and places of Profit, and the next places of Authority to Kings and Princes themselves; in Riches equal to their Princes, with which they build stately and Magnificent Structures and Palaces, while the more Noble Courtiers indeed, wast their Estates in
Page 234
Whoring, Gaming, Hunting, Horse-races, Entertain∣ments, Masques, and Gorgeous Apparel; selling their Lordships, Castles, Possessions, Inheritances, to those Upstart Courtiers, who by their wicked Practises and Contrivances are now mounted into the rank of No∣bility.